Un-made Bed, Thoughts, Thankfulness

After coming back home, I went straight to shower. Walking out of the shower, I rushed into the bedroom looking for my pajamas under the blankets. As I lifted the blankets, I catch a wave of that lovely familiar smell in one's bed (probably just a combination of build up sweat, dried saliva, and body odor in general) and thought.. I love my boyfriend.

wait, boyfriend? I meant, husband. 
Oh that doesn't sound right either. It's a bit too formal.. Hubby? 

I could totally continue to refer to him as my "boyfriend" for ever and ever. 

But now that I think about it.. the way he makes me feel, has reached a place I didn't feel existed in me. The term "boyfriend" no longer meets what he is now for me.

It is a whole new world for me. This "husband" of mine is nothing like what I had expected.

He does not look down upon his wife, on the contrary, he revolves around me. He does not forget about me, instead, I am on his mind all the time. He is not scared from all the new responsibilities, he keeps on trying without giving up. He did not become more isolated, he is actually a lot more talkative now than ever. 

The boyfriend does anything to conquer her heart. The husband does everything to ensure her well being, without forgetting those sparks of romantic moments that started it all.

The boyfriend is dreamy, and so perfect she fears to wake up and lose it all. The husband is the one who is there when she wakes up, and holds her close to his solid chest.

The boyfriend creates happy memories in a fairy tale. The husband creates silly memories on a daily basis in real-life car ride to work.

The boyfriend talks about the promises, the husband takes the words and put them into action.

And me? I think about him all the time and thank the universe that he is forever mine. (nop, can't cntl + z it)

Why keep a diary? Answers, 2014, and awesome kitchen buy!

It's been a while since I have written a blog post or a word in my personal diary. It got me thinking about the reason behind all the writing I did back in my teenage years. I'm guessing it was the ambition, and the thought, about one day being able to publish them (haha right, like Anne Frank wanted hers to be read by the world). It made me record the slightest details, I thought, just maybe, would be interesting for the readers.

After that thought, I turned my head the opposite question: so why am I not writing things as often now ( once every 2 years?) I'm sure you're thinking "duh cuz you lost your ambition, you no longer want to publish your diaries" and that is only half true. It is true that its no longer an ambition. But the real reason behind not writing is because I have converting the habit of writing into sharing my thoughts. Now instead of pen and paper, I have a living (and charming) diary who gives me feedback when I ask for it, or just listens when I have to let things out. I never told my living diary about the old ambition of publishing anything. Much to my surprise, one day he said to me "have you ever thought of publishing an autobiography?" It took a moment. Then I replied, "yes, once upon a time" "you should" he said, with a smile so familiar it made me smile too.

I'm in a good place in life. All major issues that occupied my mind was solved and dissapear along with 2013, thanks to my amazing 3 F's: friends, family, and fiancé. 2014 has given me the opportunity of a fresh start. Excited things to happen soon, as well as living in the present. Past events have made me appreciate the things I didn't appreciate, and be thankful for things I might have been taking them for granted. With so much positive energy around me, I must contribute too, somehow, someday. Maybe it will be publishing an autobiography, or posting it online, or make healthy meals, or motivating other, things that not necessarily has anything to do with diaries, whatever it may be. With that said, here is a picture of the first sunset of the year, taken with hubby behind me, with his cheeks against mine.

To end this post, I would like to share how awesome having a mixer/food processor/blender is! Hubby made a bizcocho (sponge cake) while I did hummus and pumpkin cream. Omg the last one was our favorite. So easy and SO healthy and delicious. €44 was totally worth it. Oh yeah 2014, lets rock on!

在飯店裡接電話的員工

快一年了 我還是記得很清楚

我：「Thank you for calling...」 *還沒說完*

電話：「你媽個逼 現在這麼是個女的接電話？！」

我：「你好 這邊是xxx酒店 有什麼可以幫您嗎？」

電話：「你媽個逼 剛剛明明是個男的打來的」

我：「這邊是總機 分機打出去的電話都顯示這個電話號碼 」

電話：「你媽個逼 你明明就是一個女的！ 剛才打電話給我的是個男的！」

我：「您知道他叫什麼名字嗎？」

電話：「你媽個逼 他就是個男的！」

我：「不好意思 這邊有很多男的 您知道他住哪一個房間嗎？」

電話：「他開白車子 他打電話過來說等著我」

我：「你沒找到他嗎？」

電話：「他被撞死好了 開他白色的車被撞死好了」

我：「這樣的話 不好意思沒辦法幫您找到那個人」

電話：「老子花了十幾塊錢打了車！剛才明明就是個男的！你媽個逼！*摔電話*」

我無語了。。滿滿的把電話掛了

到現在 我還在想 他到底有沒有找到那個TMDB的男的？？？

Thoughts on Eating Healthy

Watching YouTube videos seems to wake up many desires I have to do things. I have just watched a "groceries haul" and it reminded me how much I love cooking. I miss having my own kitchen and going groceries shopping thinking about all the yummy healthy dishes I would make for my family, boyfriend and myself. I go even further by imagining how radiant and healthy they would look, receiving compliments from other people.

God I feel insane.

Second note, I have reached a conclusion related to eating healthy. Many people try and give up because they simply think it is too difficult or too drastic to even keep up. One thing I have noticed is: it doesn't matter how difficult it sounds at the beginning, your body will change if you continue to try! This is because it is only normal to NOT be able to change your diet completely after an inspirational desire to eat healthier. Every time you try, your body is experiencing something new. After a couple of times, the body starts to get used to it. Only up to this point, you have made a big step! All you have to do is to keep it up and continue to change your eating habits gradually. Your taste buds will start to appreciate cleaner flavors and you will feel a difference, either in your weight, skin, digestion, or even pooing has become smoother! Whichever it is, once you have achieved it, tasting food you used to love (especially in restaurants) it will taste very different: too artificial, complicated and salty. If those are not your thoughts, your taste buds requires more training and time to adapt, which is not a big deal.

I cheer for those who continue to beat poor eating habits and killing most (if not all) of the junk food. There's a a tip which helped me incredibly. I went to Parma, Italy to visit a close friend a few years ago. Parma is a little place that's not TOO well known (in comparison to Rome and Florence) so I had the chance to taste some local food. I ordered a panini with sparkling fruit wine and OH MY GOD it was the best panini I had IN MY LIFE. It didn't have anything fancy in it, but everything was just so fresh. I could taste the saltiness of the famous Parma ham, fresh crunchy lettuce (it was even a little chilled I guess from being washed) and tomatoes in a just out if the oven bun. I noticed I enjoyed clean flavors so much more than I thought (growing up in an Asian family doesn't give you much room for simple dishes). So I started to train my taste buds, since it was much harder to get ingredients as fresh as that restaurant in Parma, at the phase we live in. I trained it to detect freshness in food, less processed, less seasoned... And I must say I a, eating a lot healthier than my college life.

This is the last..

This is the last excuse I can come up with before I run out of things to do and HAVE to study for the 2 tests for this week... Something's on my mind and Im a lil too sensitive about it. I wish I could numb it, just like my fingers when theyre not in my pocket walking in the snowy night. It's not something I experience often, so I leave them out, allow them to go numb, and remmeber the feeling. New experiences, even little things like that, may come to use for another time in life.
It's funny that 2 posts ago were about 2010 new year? time goes by so quickly. I feel the pressure that time is ticking away and I dont have much sand left. How to become sucessful in so little time? How to gather the energy to do so many different things? Laziness is a natural characteristic in me, inspiration is the opposite of it, but it comes and goes. It can be influenced by my thoughts but its not an easy task. In another words, it has a mind and soul of its own... and Im just a servant following orders.
study play learn experience
Ive decided, going sking before the snow melts (pleaseee wait for me!)
寫什麼 都是沒頭沒尾的 有時候 想的事情太多. 手指頭打的太慢
想過的事沒打出來 就沒被記錄 永遠走了 消失了

absorbing

So I've moved to swiss land for almost a month now, and really, things have chaotic.. and I dont even know where to start.
I'm currently doing my Post Graduate degree... which has been, surprisingly, after thinking about it for so long, a mistake. but at the same time it's NOT a mistake... People just keep asking me... why did you come for a PGD? Why didn't you just go for the MBA?
well.. who do u actually know that are doing an MBA at the age of 20? do I even WANT an MBS in hospitality? ... I dont know.. maybe being here would answer that, and maybe it won't be answer after my internship... but it all depends.. and for once in my life, I'm going to try (notice the key word, TRY) to go with the flow.. don't worry too much.. maybe do whatever I feel like at the moment.. This is also encouraged by my very rich classmates who are here for pleasure, with NO pressure from their parents... or themselves.. they're here for the fun of it... Sometimes I get a little envious, I know I shouldn't.
But again, thank god I'm here, to expand my knowledge.. and my way of looking at everything. I realized that I know so little, and with this little that I know, I judge people.. which is not ok... Ignorant people should learn to learn and not judge. AKA me
anyways, I've been busy trying to adapt, trying to be normal, feel the air of being in a boarding school, an EUROPEAN boarding school, a RICH people's boarding school, and SWISS HOSPITALITY rich people's boarding school. and yah, Im hitting against my limits. wish they were higher.
So far everything's been great. a great program is when people are here when they choose to be... then you tend to hang around people who are more mature, who u can learn many things from. which has been amazing.
sorry if Im repetetive.. Had too much champagne tonight.
good night world~

Kelly

我不想..

我不想因為媽媽的教育方式 沒有辦法正常的跟弟弟相處
我又不是他媽 為什麼 是我在教育他?
媽媽常常嘆氣 嘴裡念念有詞的說不知道要怎麼辦
我就會跟他說.. 把電腦關掉就好了阿
還很辛苦的改無線網路的密碼勒... (為了他, 大家都不用看電腦了阿?)
不做功課 就不能玩電腦
不洗澡就不能看電視
不吃飯 就餓肚子

真的有那麼難嗎?????

家長一天到晚就只會說.. 要K人了歐! 要揍你了喔!
... 何必呢?
只是養成好習慣...
每天昨晚該做的事情.. 
這麼簡單.. 為什麼要搞得大家不愉快呢?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

媽媽最近搬家 很累
累到昨天嘔吐了
我跟弟弟說.. 你看著媽咪 看他有沒有吃東西
隔天我問他.. 媽咪有吃東西嗎?
他用肩膀比不知道
我說.. 我只是叫你看著.. 不是叫你煮東西給他吃
然後.. 我說..
你不幫忙.. 至少把自己再客廳的碗筷拿到洗手潮
他說.. 等一下
拿了1個.. 我說.. 剩下的呢?
他很不厭煩的拿走了
媽媽之後下樓了
說.. ㄟ你把碗筷拿去水潮...
剛剛他只是移動碗筷而已..
一想就火大 也沒說什麼

然後他繼續玩他的電腦
他每天都在玩的電腦 還有每天都看的電視
我很懷疑他為什麼還沒有近視
媽媽說.. 去洗澡八
他說.. 等一下
每過10分鐘塔都說等一下
媽媽有點開始發火的時候
他說.. 這個玩完就去
媽媽聽起來很無奈 因為.. 她對PADEN都這樣子.. 最近又特別累
最後無力無氣的說...kelly.. 網路的密碼怎麼改 我忘了...

我.. 看不下去了.
我說.. 你把電腦關了阿
媽媽沒動靜
我起來 親自按母主機的按鈕 強迫關機
弟弟.. 當然看起來要把我殺了
站起來.. 推我一把 (被我捏了)
到樓上去 (應該是去哭)

我也很想哭
他不聽話.. 他當然不會聽話
不聽話沒有後果 就可以多玩好幾個小時的電腦
他為何聽話呢?

為什麼要我來當壞人呢?
教訓他不是我的責任
媽媽太寵他 跟我沒有關係
為什麼要把最後幾天的相處時間變的這麼不愉快呢?

因為我很白癡 太雞婆

以後.. 我只關心當姊姊
我不是媽媽 本來就不應該這樣..


**********************************************************************************
弟弟.. 如果你以後看到這個.. (應該不會 因為男生都很遲鈍)
IM SORRY
有時候對你的要求太高了
媽媽對你的教育 會讓你覺得我們活在一個很困難的世界裡
你從來沒吃過苦  (我也沒有 可是我懂) 
人生有什麼難關的時候 你要比別人還努力 才有辦法通過

**********************************************************************************

IN THE END 我不要因為媽媽的教育方式 不能跟弟弟好好相處
我知道聽起來有點自私
我就要自私 我要跟弟弟有美好的回憶

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

不公平.. 他就要回台灣了 以後就沒有機會相處了
他也要長大了..

我是姊姊
不是媽媽